Beware Of Home-schoolers Who "Do Nothing"

"A suffering of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering."  "The intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another."  "A person who maintains or restores peace and amity; mediator" (all sited in Webster's dictionary).  Indeed compassion, empathy, and peacekeeping skills are highly overrated in today's society.  I cannot imagine a world where people who practiced these qualities became the majority.  What a tragedy! (Ok, please forgive the satirical tone...)

These are words that people (both known to us and strangers) have used to describe our family and in particular, Rebekah (our 13 year old).  Throughout the years we have evolved into a relatively unconventional family.  We had strong "academic" reasons which were our catalyst to our home-schooling journey.  However, over time, our approach to education has become the very essence of how we live.  Daily living and pursuing passions are the foundation of our pedagogy.  Of course we go through seasons of well meaning individuals barraging us with comments such as: "You don't follow a set curriculum.  Aren't you worried your daughter will fall behind?"  "What do you mean you don't take tests?"  "What about benchmarks?"  "Well, home-schoolers lack socialization." "When do you do schoolwork?  Oh, you don't have set hours."  And the list goes on and on...

I can understand how outsiders may perceive that we don't do anything.  Rebekah does not sit at a desk for hours on end five days a week.  She doesn't cram for tests to retain the knowledge only for as long as she needs it to pass the exam.  She doesn't spend countless hours on homework.  And somedays we stay in our pajamas all day!  

Our rhythm of education is very experiential.  Basics in reading, spelling, and math are covered and everything else is what we refer to as self-designing (or learner directed) and even those basic subjects are often learner inspired.

This past year we served for five weeks in Kolkata, India.  The experiences of living with the people there was life changing for all of us.  This year, Rebekah exhibited a strong desire to start Doula training.  So, this mother/daughter duo starts training this month.  We desire to serve in Africa (not sure where yet) so we are immersing ourselves in reading about the cultures, tribes, history, and even starting Swahili lessons online.  Rebekah continues to be passionate about her horses and is an active member in 4-H.  She often mentors others in horsemanship.  We "co-educate" with several other homeschooling families and have found this to be an enriching part of our journey.

It used to bother Rebekah when we'd be in public and people made the assumption that she was missing school for some reason.  Now she just giggles under her breath.

I must confess that this entry was inspired by a comment I read on social media a few weeks ago.  It took me a while to "simmer down" and propose some thoughts from a calm place.  I thrived in traditional education: elementary, high school, and university.  However, I am hard pressed now to recall many of the facts I learned once upon a time.  My most valuable learning has come from everyday life, hands on learning, and trial and error.  By no means is my intention to minimize the many benefits from traditional schooling.  However, we have been the target of many judgments because of our countercultural approach to education; so I'm inviting others to look at school in a different perspective.

Our daughter is a confident young woman who has an incredibly large heart.  She sees people through a filter of beauty and compassion that touches so many around her.  Her faith is strong and deep.  She is not afraid to stand up for others (or herself).  She has an unwavering work ethic and often volunteers her time.  Somehow if we've missed some details in her education, I think she will be able to compensate for them at the time she needs them.

Life is short and I just wonder if we put unnecessary pressure on our children (and ourselves) because we've deemed a list of "to-dos and checkmarks" to lead to a destination as more valuable than the journey itself.  Just a few thoughts that I've been entertaining the past few weeks...

What's the Common Denominator--Scaffolding, Almond Milk, Swahili, and Compassion?

Homemade Almond Meal and Milk

Sampling the end product--yum!

Today was a full day of learning from our classroom--the world!  We started the day driving out to Chris' place (our oldest son).  He and his wife are building a spacious addition to their old farm house (was his grandparents' place where Randy grew up).  Their progress is substantial since the last time I'd seen it a month or so ago.  We walked around and dreamed with Chris as he described where each room will go and were in awe of the ten foot walls leading up to the second storey!  Randy talked through the various stages of building and carpentry as Rebekah followed him up the ladder to the second floor (this mama stayed firmly planted on the ground floor).  Looking over at the scaffolding brought back a flood of memories of our children helping build our addition nine years ago!  

Next stop for the day was a visit to Randy's mom.  Kay has been living in the nursing home for almost six years since Randy's dad passed away.  It was good to connect with her; but, our hearts silently cried as we continue to watch her digression.  Huntington's disease is cruel, like many others.  Her thoughts have slowed down along with her body.  I took on the role of care-provider for our brief visit (of course over Subway lunch--her favourite).  Helping Kay out of bed into her wheelchair was humbling.  As I assisted her, I wanted to honour her as I would hope someone would do for me if I were in her situation.  I watched my husband's and daughter's responses as they observed the slow, tedious steps to assist their mom, grandma.  Their eyes were glossy and the moments felt surreal.  We enjoyed our lunch and small talk and then Kay asked to lay down.  Her endurance is much shorter these days.  This time she chose to ask for nursing assistance to return to bed.  We gave her hugs and kisses as we left, knowing that the tides continue to change and she feels like she is slipping away.  Today, we continued to learn compassion.

The past couple of days, Rebekah and I have been preparing to make almond milk.  Oh my, how easy it was to make this tasty drink.  It was wonderful to work side by side.  Rebekah really enjoys amateur photography and documented each step.  I think we each enjoyed squeezing the milk out of the nut bag...there's just something about hands on work.  Of course we enjoyed sampling the end product, too!  We appreciate making our food from scratch, learning the processes, and being able to maximize the value.  We can use the almond meal for future recipes and the milk is much tastier than what we buy in the store!

Rebekah's mind map has a large portion dedicated to studying Africa.  We dream to serve there in the next year or so.  We are uncertain where but will be diligent in our studies and connecting with humanitarian/mission organizations.  Rebekah desperately wanted to learn a tribal language so good, old Rosetta Stone offers one African language--Swahili.  I suppose we've narrowed down our areas to serve according to a region that hopefully speaks Swahili!  The program is downloaded and ready for us to start lesson one this week.

So, what is the common denominator of scaffolding, compassion, almond milk, and Swahili?  We are a learner directed family.  We intentionally seek out the learning moments in everyday living.  We have abundant opportunities to learn!  Our home, our family, our region, our world is our classroom!  We hope to inspire others to look at education a little differently and not to compartmentalize it.  May you truly experience the joy of learning as our seasons change!

"Structure/Guidance"--"Tomato/Tomata"

Wow--It has been quite a long hiatus since my last post.  So, I'm dusting off the cobwebs and getting back into the "groove" as our activities for homeschooling, inevitably, increase this time of year.  Yes, we "school" year round but we remain tied to the "school year" routine due to others' schedules.  Fall is my favorite season of the year!  The air is crisp, the leaves become a kaleidoscope of vibrant colors, the mosquitoes are gone--I am in  my happy place!  However, I must quickly offer an addendum to my thoughts; it is only August and the air already feels like fall.  I guess I can only hope for, along with many other Manitobans, for a very beautiful and lengthy season!

This year I have felt a need to become a tad more structured in our routine.  This may sound a bit counter-cultural to our approach to homeschooling (since Self Designing, for us,  tends to meander over to the "unschooling" genre of home education).  However, as Rebekah gets older and is asking for additional workshops, classes, and mentors and I am in year two of my masters degree program, I believe it is crucial for us to have some solid banks offering support as our river of education flows and picks up its pace.  By no means does this mean we will be tied to an hour by hour, minute by minute schedule (that would undo both of us).  We will create a new mind map (a visual method of organizing our thoughts, activities, passions and discovering the points of intersection), thoughtfully choose which activities we will engage in this year, and put them on a weekly calendar (I need the accountability of completing what we set forth to accomplish).  Within this "structure," we will always have the freedom to change things as we go to foster self directed learning;  listening to and honoring our interests/passions.

The other day I brought up my need of adding "structure" to our rhythm to Rebekah.  I was careful to language my intended meaning and how this would be executed so she didn't run for the  hills thinking that her mom had done a 180 degree turn in our approach to "schooling."  Fortunately she understood and really embraced the plan.  In fact, her "languaging" was much more eloquent than mine.  "Yeah Mom, I've been thinking about how I want to really dive into a couple areas I'm passionate about and truly have all my studying (meaning the traditional "subjects" taught in school) center around those passions.  I've been desiring more guidance in my learning."  I say "structure," she says "guidance."  What a meaningful conversation and awareness of both of our needs, willing to deeply connect so that we can move forward and get back into the "flow" of life.

It will be interesting to see what unfolds as we create our mind map in the next couple of days.  I already sense points of intersection and am allowing myself to dream about the potentiality of the year.  I shared one of those points with Rebekah the other night and it was magical to observe her excitement as she acknowledged how this process can work. Learning is enchanting and we have a world to explore!

However you approach education (whether you have young ones at home or are a life long learner yourself), I encourage you to remember that "benchmarks" are much more than numbers and education, like life itself, is not a destination it is a journey!  Look around you for those "aha" moments and embrace this season as it commences...

An Overdue Update...Returning Home to Canada!

I have been remiss in updating our blog since we returned home about six weeks ago.  The first week or more was spent being gentle with ourselves, staying home as much as possible, and readjusting to the time difference and extreme climate/culture change!

The past few weeks, Rebekah and I have "jumped" back into our rhythm of life and all the activities that ensue.  Randy is very glad to have us home!

I have been busy with completing assignments for my directed study on our trip to Kolkata.  For the sake of time and to "catch" you up, I am copying one of my assignments.

Until next time...

STOPS !!!

(Surprises That Occupy Personal Silence)

As I reflect on how to “finish” assignments for my directed study centered on my recent trip to Kolkata, I think of a comment I made to a friend a couple days ago (a young woman whom I also have the honor of mentoring), “Self Design is absolutely lovely yet the very nature of a directed study course, which I created, begs the question of if I will ever feel like I have “arrived” in my processing and I am challenged to know when I am truly “finished” with my projects/assignments.” 

I think this question needs to stay central in my thoughts as I attempt to complete my course over the next couple of weeks.  On one level (intellectual) I acknowledged that I would be “processing” and learning from this trip for the rest of my life.  Now that I’ve been home for just over a month, I have internalized this profound reality into the depths of my being…

Therefore, I will submit some “Stops” I have experienced since my return home:

*The very acronym that developed out of the concept of the stop formed just an hour ago as I was lying in bed reflecting on life and thinking about how to proceed with my assignments.  In the dark stillness (this was about 5 a.m.), the words Surprises That Occupy Personal Silence crashed like waves against the shoreline of my thoughts.  Yes, I experienced numerous stops while in India (which were addressed in my blog) and since my return home, I have heightened sensitivity to those stops.

*ICE WATER:  The other evening I realized how incredibly thirsty I was and that it took several glasses of ice water to quench my thirst.  In those moments, I was so thankful for the limitless amount of ice water I have available to me in my home (not many weeks ago, “chilled” water—let alone ice water, was a treat).  In addition to the literal, physical ability to drink the water to eventually quench my thirst; my thoughts turned to the challenge of truly quenching my thirst of processing our trip and continually opening myself to more learning.

*Rebekah’s “Craving”:  For the first week or so Rebekah stated that she “craved” to paint (beautiful, abstract pieces).  As she painted and put words to this need (crave), I stepped back and observed her.  I noticed her tenderness in choices of color.  Usually she likes to have music on while she creates her art but those first paintings were done in silence.  I reflected on how loud Kolkata had been and the need the three of us have had for silence which equates to peace in our world.

*Siloam Mission:  A couple of weeks ago I took Rebekah on a field trip to a local outreach for the area’s impoverished.  I had volunteered at the mission a few years ago.  However, at that time Rebekah was too young to come along so she’d never seen the mission (but very aware of the various outreaches in the community).  As we entered the “shelter” area (I think approximately 65 beds), emotions overcame me.  In fact, I had to fight back “wailing” as tears streamed down my face.  I whispered to Rebekah, “Look how large this space is, how clean it is, how dignified it is—remember the conditions of the hospital we saw in Kolkata?” and I shook my head in disbelief wishing I could wave a magic wand and transport the beautiful facility overseas.

*Tim Horton’s “Roll up the rim to win” and Sunday mornings at Starbucks:  How quickly I’ve returned to my weekly “habits” living in Canada.  As we are settling back into the rhythm of life, I often stop at Tim’s for my steeped tea and make sure to leave early enough for church each Sunday so I can indulge in my extra hot chai latte.  Sometimes I catch myself questioning these pleasures.  The other week I planned to meet Sandy for a bit during three65 and texted her to see if she wanted me to bring her something from Tim’s.  She was most thankful for a hot beverage on a bitter cold day.  That visit was the first one we had in person since I returned.  I mentioned feeling “guilty” as I’ve returned to some of my habits and she responded with, “Deb I know how it is to immerse back into my home culture after traveling for extended periods of time (not from third world cultures, though) and yes, it is a challenge in balancing what we have seen and experienced while acknowledging and embracing the culture in which we live.”  Those are good words to “chew” on!

*Buying out IKEA:  On that note of consumerism and a comparison to Rebekah’s “craving” to paint, I had an insatiable “craving” to add color to my home.  This evolution of color began the past couple of years since we started Self Designing (color, you may ask?  That’s a whole story in itself.  Long story short—I think my past imprisoned me and I didn’t allow myself to enjoy and display much color within my home or my wardrobe, etc…).  Anyway, I had been thinking about replacing my dishes after our trip.  I had set aside some birthday and Christmas money from the past year and decided to head out to IKEA a couple of weeks ago.  I enjoy finding “bargains” and that’s the extent of my pleasure in shopping (usually). However this trip was something I “craved” and found myself desiring to spend alone time (I hadn’t since we returned home).  Normally my alone time wouldn’t be spent in a large store with people surrounding me.  Yet, I was a woman with a mission.  I wanted more color in my life!  This is where the stop enters…between the journey toward more color the past couple of years and the immersion into a stunningly COLORFUL CULTURE (India), I was inspired (with a sense of urgency) to seize the moment and shop!  I thoroughly enjoyed the alone time, wandering up and down the aisles in IKEA.  I found the dishes I’d had my eye on and so much more.  The colorful wall hangings haven’t yet made it up on our walls, but my cupboards are filled with light green and burnt orange dishes.  Our bathroom on the main floor dons a colorful, printed shower curtain with lime green and turquoise hand towels as accents.  I am giddy as more and more color is added to my life!  I also feel good about donating my old dishes to a family I just learned of who is in need of “furnishing” their home.

*Expressing myself:  I know that I had hoped to do some “artsy” expressions as some of my assignments.  I had been challenged and inspired during my course in residency last August to try expressing myself in a variety of methods.  However, I do have a love of language and writing…so for the sake of time and by default, words pour out onto the pages.  I have purchased an “Introduction to watercolors” kit and look forward to taking the time to express myself through a different medium.  Maybe something will transpire before my course deadline…

*”The grass is greener on the other side”:  I was just over at my dear friend’s house the other day.  Lisa was frantically making supper, cupcakes for an ensuing party, and apologized for her messy house explaining “cleaning day” was the next day.  I laughed and told her no apology was necessary stating that my house was in need of a good cleaning and tidying up, too.  Her eight-year-old son, Jack, said, “your house is so big I wouldn’t think it ever needs to be cleaned!” (Their house is much smaller).  I, in turn, commented, “That’s the problem Jack—it’s so big that the messes just seem to spill over to every room.”  Lisa piped up, “The grass is always greener on the other side, huh?  I always think that if I had a larger house, I would have a place for everything.”  Again, the past couple of years I have been “purging stuff.”  This stems back to how my mom became a hoarder over the years (yes, a person who could’ve been on the show Hoarders—Buried Alive).  I have questioned my abundance of “stuff” and been working on minimalizing for many reasons.  Enter the stop; this need to continue this evolutionary process was magnified while in India (and since returning home).  I often caught my thoughts drifting to the “abundance” that the majority of North Americans have in their lives and in their homes as I observed the homes in the slums, the condition of the clothes, the cooking on the streets, the people sleeping on sidewalks and more…

*Clean eating, Paleo diet, juicing and more:  Before leaving for our trip, I acknowledged our diet would be drastically altered while in India.  I looked forward to authentic Indian cuisine, knowing that my love for spicy food would be challenged with the intensity of their spice!  I also was grateful that our gluten free diet at home was due to “intolerances” versus actual allergies because being gluten free in Kolkata would be next to impossible.  Little did I know that we would eat very little Indian food (because our bodies just couldn’t handle the intensity of spice and different foods used) and search for “continental cuisine” as our sustenance.  We were extremely cautious and did not eat “street food.”  Had we planned to be in India longer, we would’ve eaten the street food and allowed our bodies to “adjust” to the native customs.  Because our stay was relatively short, we didn’t want to be burdened with the possibility of extended sickness due to food.  Consuming gluten and other foods (processed) our bodies had not been accustomed to proved to be challenging enough!  Since being home, we are now getting back into the rhythm of our cooking and diet.  STOP:  I catch myself smiling and experiencing joy well up inside of me as I look through my cookbooks and plan and prepare meals.  I pause and am so thankful for being in tune with my body and what it needs for nourishment (and the gift it is to provide such a healthy diet for my family).  I am grateful for the financial means to purchase the whole foods.  I think about the water I use to wash my produce (not giving a second thought to using tap water—unlike our experience in India).  The scenes of Kolkata play over and over in my mind’s eye and my heart lingers there as I live here.

*Grateful for our Manitoba winter:  I usually have to guard myself from falling into a cesspool of negativity regarding our harsh winters.  Minus 40 to 50 temperatures get to all of us residing in Manitoba.  However, this year I have a new appreciation for our winter.  Even though the winters can be very long and extremely cold, I am thankful for our clean air!!  Yes, I am grateful that I had a six -week break from our winter (and it was extremely warmer); yet, the pollution in Kolkata is worse than I’ve ever experienced in my life (remember I commuted to Los Angeles five days a week about ten years ago…)!  I have asthma and only have to use my inhaler during field burning seasons and sometimes on very cold days during the winter.  While I was in Kolkata, I used my inhaler several times a day.  I think about how the pollution must affect everyone’s health there and I can be grateful for the long winter here.

I am certain there are many more stops that I have already experienced since returning home and that there will be many more!  I intend to keep a journal to either write or draw my “pauses” so I can look back at them as time spans between India and Manitoba.  These exercises are rich and are profoundly impacting my immersion into my home culture and I am grateful.

"Make New Friends But Keep The Old, One Is Silver And The Other Is Gold"

I remember as a young girl in Girl Scouts singing a fun song (in a round), "make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold."  That childhood song captures the past couple of days...

On Thursday, we packed our bags and connected with staff and children at Charisma House in Kolkata.  For many years, I have tried not to say the words "good bye," rather "see you next time."  So we bid our "see you next times" with tears in our eyes and hugged many new friends who will be forever etched in our memories and on our hearts.  We had a quick lunch with Shagufta and her uncle who came donning small gifts as a thank you for connecting with their family.  Once we were back at the hotel and luggage brought down to the lobby, we were very surprised and moved that many hotel staff (room cleaners, restaurant servers, reception, and management) came to say goodbye to us and even more moving was the tears they shed concerning our departure.  Benita, the manager who took such a shine to Rebekah, gave her an ornate going away gift (a bracelette and ring set) and told Rebekah to keep smiling her beautiful smile!  Once we loaded the taxi, and set in for our ride, Rebekah and I both fought back tears as we saw Kolkata passing us by...

Our journey began with a few hours in the Kolkata airport.  We had been advised that there were many traffic jams enroute to the airport and to leave extra early.  On the contrary traffic was not bad but it was good to get through the multiple layers of security and settle in with plenty of time before our departure.  Our flight to Bangalore was short (just over two hours) but then our layover was over six hours.  We had been told in Kolkata (several times) that our luggage would be directly transferred to our next flight and tha we did not have to pick it up at baggage claim.  I was relieved to hear we had one less step to deal with.

Since we arrived in Bangalore on January 30 and our flight wasn't until the wee hours of January 31, we had to remain in the domestic side of the airport for several hours and then we could cross over to the international side.  We had six hours before departure so we didn't really care where we spent our time.  We grabbed a snack from a familiar restaurant (Cafe Coffee Day) and pulled out the Uno cards.   During that time, we started chatting with a young woman (originating from complimenting her on her alibaba pants) and discovered Aidan was from BC and was homeschooled in Self Design (our learning philosophy as well as my masters degree work).  She was a vibrant, well spoken, knowledgable world traveller.  Not only did our time pass quicker, our lives were enriched by meeting her.  She and her boyfriend had been travelling across Asia for a few months and had a few more to go.  Hearing of their adventures (trekking, staying in remote villages, taking the trains, and so on) was incredibly inspirational!

Around midnight, a security guard approached our small group of foreigners and asked if we had travelled from Kolkata with three baggs checked in.  I said yes and he proceeded to tell me to show him my passport, ticket, and baggage claim tickets.  It turns out that no matter how many times the clerk assured me in Kolkata that our bags were to be checked all the way through and that we did not have to retrieve them at baggage claim, that was not true.  I looked across the room to the gate to cross into the international section of the airport and there sat a trolley with all of our luggage.  The security guard said we were supposed to pick it up so they hunted us down.  Thank goodness it wasn't lost and it was a bonus we didn't have to do the work of retrieving them through baggage claim!

Off we went across the great divide to the international section.  We exchanged currency, rechecked our luggage, and cleared immigration.  Finally 4 a.m. came and we departed from Bangalore (with Frankfurt as our destination).  After a very long 10 hour flight, and little sleep, we arrived in Frankfurt.  Claiming our luggage and clearing immigration was simple compared to our other stops!  With great anticipation, we exited that area and voila found Sabine, my long time friend, who welcomed us with open arms!  We trekked through the airport to the train station.  The train was quite full but we found a couple of seats and off we went to Koln.  At one point I saw the sign flash that we were going 261 km/hr (and I later found out that it often goes 300 km/hr).  About 50 mins. later we arrived in Koln, haled a taxi, and journeyed to Sabine's apartment.

Immediately upon our arrival to Frankfurt,  Rebekah and I started experiencing culture shock.  We were astounded by all the people with milky, white skin,  hearing different languages than we had come accustomed to, seeing modern restaurants/store, noticing little to no pollution, seeing different cars (our taxi was a mercedes), and no horns were used!!!  The past couple of days we continue to acclimate to a very different culture than what we lived in for over a month...

It has been wonderful to be here at Sabine's place.  She told me it was her mission to spoil us and she is definitely succeeding!  I have thoroughly enjoyed soaking in hot baths for long periods of time, sleeping in a comfortable bed, and eating amazing food (food we didn't feel safe to eat in Kolkata such as fresh produce...salads have been one of the highlights).

The first day we arrived, we layed low, slept some, and went out to a traditional Koln pub for supper. It was fun to take in the atmosphere and the food was splendid!  We had a great sleep that first night and quickly adjusted to the time change.  We woke up at 7 a.m. and felt well rested and ready to take on the day.  Sabine told us that as a local she hasn't seen (or was to young to remember) the sites she planned to take us.  We started our day with a lavish breakfast of breads, meats, cheeses, yogurt, fruit, and juices.

Then off we went to a castle!  I wasn't sure if we would be driving on the auto bonn during our stay here, so I was thrilled when we did.  I took a short video and some pictures to document the experience.  Onto the castle we went.  The weather was a bit drizzly and cool but still very comfortable for a bit of a road trip and walking around outside some.

We were allowed to take pictures outside the castle but not inside, so we purchased some postcards to help retain the memories.  The tour was given in German, however Rebekah and I had audioguides so we were wonderfully enthralled with the detailed explanation of the history and what each room represented!  Because we had the audioguide, we were treated to music starting some of the explanations and it drew us in as we closed our eyes and imagined the grandeur of it all!

I couldn't help but think of my dear, Grandma Dot many times throughout the day.  She was a world traveller and some of my favorite childhood memories are of her sharing her adventures with me.  She always encouraged me to see the world.  Well, it took quite a few years into my lifetime to embarak journeying overseas, but I am so grateful to finally have this experience (hope that it doesn't end with this trip) and could sense my Grandma smiling!  What is extra special is Sabine knew my Grandma, as well, and it was moving and rich to be able to share these thoughts and memories with a friend who knew her as well as my history.

After the castle, we went to the Haribo (original gummy bear) candy store located near the factory where they are made.  We were overwhelmed with aisle after aisle after aisle filled with assorted candy!  The colors were bright and there was a buzz in the store.  Christopher, our oldest, is a candy fiegn and we kept commenting how he wouldn't believe the choices available.  It was fun to choose a variety to take home and share and then to put together a miscellaneous bag to "sample" over the next few days!

At that point, it was 4 p.m. and the other museums and sites would close at 5 p.m.  So we decided to call it a day and head home.  We had a relaxing evening and Sabine pulled out her old scrapbooks from when we worked at All Nations Camp in 1991.  Rebekah was giddy as she looked at the pictures, asked us to share stories, and located me in the pictures.  It definitely stretched my memory, but it was so fun to walk down memory lane with Sabine and share that with Rebekah.

I have come to realize that it is an honor to have a few true friends whom you may not see for years on end (I hadn't seen Sabine since I was 19) and be able to pick up right where you left off!  It has done my soul great good to connect with my long time friend and I cherish the beauty we have.  Yes, I reflect upon that old, childhood song in my my mind's eye and in my heart, "make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold..."






 

Preparing For The Next Chapter Of Our Journey...

As I sit in our hotel room for our last night in Kolkata, time seems quite surreal.  We have been here for almost five weeks.  In some ways, it feels like we've been here much longer and in the next thought, it feels like it was only a few days ago we landed in this country so foreign to us!

The past few days have been very full.  On Monday, Rachel had a small team  visit the outreaches of Tabitha's Heart.  Rebekah and I joined them for part of the day.  The team came from Boise, Idaho and Medford, Oregon.  They are connected with a state-side not for profit which raises funds to support various NGOs (non government organizations) who support children in India.  It would be wonderful if Tabitha's becomes one of the supported organizations!

We started the day at the local youth centers, Charisma House 1 and 2.  Ryan, from Oregon, had many questions for us concerning our time here.  He works part time putting together short term mission/service teams and as a children/youth director at his church.  He was 12 years old when he went on his first mission trip and he really connected with Rebekah!

Then we went on to the newest center located a few miles away, Topsia.  We hadn't visited that center before.  It was a great space with room for growth.  Not many children were in attendance that day.  This could be partially because the day before was a holiday, India's Republic Day, and the work is so new that Rachel and the team are still building relationships and trust within the community so the families feel safe to have their children participate in the programming.  That location only serves nursery/preschool age children at this time.  So it was decorated with their bright colored drawings.

Off to the boys' and girls' home we went.  We also had not visited the boys' home (Randy had).  Boys will be boys--they are definitely rougher on the home and their belongings than the girls are!  Twenty one boys (from early teens to twenties) live in the home.  Some boys are still in school and the others have classes in the home.  This home serves the needs of recovering addicts (ranging from sniffing glue to heroine).  The guys were very friendly and were not camera shy whatsoever!

And finally we were at the girls home (Rebekah and I had visited by ourselves the day before).  We spent the rest of the afternoon there while Rachel took the team to their next destination (another NGO).  Both days we visited the girls, Rebekah had so much fun playing with them!  We were surprised because Shagufta, our sponsor child, wasn't home.  We found out that she had been spending time caring for her mom (in the government hospital) who had an operation.  Fortunately, we were able to get her a message to come to the home on Monday so we could say goodbye.

We had an interesting experience that afternoon.  While the children were playing outside, a large group of teen girls (very well dressed) walked by.  At first they didn't notice Rebekah and me.  I could tell they were "looking down" on our girls and whispering about them.  I found myself very protective of the girls we've grown to love.  Then, the group walking by saw Rebekah and me.  They asked if they could take pictures with us.  I felt quite conflicted since I'd just witnessed their discriminatory spirit toward our group.  But, we consented to the pictures (what else could we do?).  They asked us where we were from and we told them.  All of a sudden they squeeled and giggled and said, "Oh, Justin Beiber!"  They asked if we knew him.  It took Rebekah and me great restraint not to bust out laughing.  "No, we don't know him but we know he is from Canada," we replied.  Rebekah has not been interested in any of the "teensensations" thus far and thought it was quite silly that these girls were so giddy and thought we might know Justin Beiber.

A little while later, we had to bid our goodbyes to the girls and the young boys.  It was difficult to think we won't have the regular contact we've become accustomed to.  I am not certain if or when we will return.  We may never see these precious children, again.  This will take a while to process (but I sense that won't happen until we actually transition at home).

On Tuesday, we went to the Victoria Memorial Gardens.  This is in the older part of the city where the British first came.  Walking through the gardens was very peaceful.  The flowers were in full bloom.  The lawns were kept up nicely lending to many areas to sit and relax.  We saw a tent set up for a wedding.  The memorial (building) was breathtaking.  We were allowed to take pictures outdoors but not in the building.  The architecture was grand and held many intricate details.  Inside the ceilings were reminiscent of cathedrals, including some stained glass windows).  We saw an art exhibit with portraits depicting the local area many years ago.  There were pictures depicting the journey of creating the memorial and much more.

Since we'd discovered that Shagufta was staying in the hospital with her mom (located on our side of the city), we have had unexpected additional time with her.  What a blessing!  We took Shagufta and Rubina (a staff member) out for an early dinner last night.  It was fun to "spoil" them a bit.

Due to family circumstances, Shagufta hadn't been able to buy groceries for a while.  So,we trekked to Spencers last night and filled the cart with some basic food items.  Unfortunately, there is a rule that you cannot take pictures or video in the store.  I wish we could have.  It was so amazing to watch the two girls walk hand in hand up and down the aisles, giggling, and filling the cart.  Shagufta couldn't believe everything we sent home with her.

Sharing about Shagufta may be a bit confusing.  She usually lives out at the girls' home due to very difficult circumstances at home.  She is offered a safer and more vibrant life in the girls' home.  However, due to her mother's illness she has spent the past week mostly at the hospital but some time in her small home.

I will also clarify about how the government hospital system works here.  This evening we visited Shagufta's mom.  She had warned us about the conditions, but no words could describe what we witnessed.  Unfortunately, the lighting was not conducive to pictures.  We walked into the hospital and it was filthy.  We climbed several flights of stairs to get to her mom's room.  On the way,  there were smaller rooms housing supplies (that's a loose term) and possibly some offices.  Again, everything was dirty.  I can't imagine how anyone gets well in such unsanitary conditions.  Upon arrival to see Shagufta's mom, we entered a large room housing approximately 20 women (there are seperate rooms for men and women).  The beds were meager cots with a sheet and blanket.  Shagufta warned us that her mom's bed has bed bugs.

Shagufta's uncle and cousin were also visiting.  They had requested to meet Shagufta's sponsors to thank us for our generosity.  It was very humbling to take in the surroundings and their gratitude.  The hospital does very minimal care.  Doctors prescribe medications, but family members are responsible to go to the pharmacy to pick up the meds. and administer them.  Also, the food is not always safe.  Therefore, family members have the burden of bringing food and water, as well.  Shagufta has been caring for her mother for almost two weeks, hardly sleeping on a hard chair by her mother's bed, and eating very little.  My heart has broken for this young girl who carries such immense burdens and responsibilities.  I know we can't fix everything, but I am thankful we could help meet some basic needs and alleviate some immediate burdens.

Today we also were invited to Rubina's home (staff from youth center).  It was an honor to have built a close enough relationship with her to be invited to visit her home.  Rubina has eight siblings.  She is second oldest.  All the children still live at home.  Her family lives on the first floor of the building.  They share the space with her uncle's family.  Rubina took us into what we thought was a fairly large room for this area.  After visiting for a little while, we came to realize that the majority of her family also sleeps in this room.  Suddenly the room seemed much smaller.  They do have electricity, a nice refrigerator, and tv.  The hallway houses the electric range tops for cooking.  They do not have an oven.  Her uncle's family lives another room and there is a common room they share (some of her siblings sleep there).  We met her brother (next in line down from her).  His english was excellent and he engaged us in conversation.  A highlight for Rebekah was when Rubina showed her the hand-cranked sewing machine.  Neither of us had seen one cranked by hand.  Rubina is an accomplished seamstress and showed us one of her newest projects.  She had Rebekah sew on the machine.  Apparently they do have an electric machine but it is broken so she is grateful for to have the antique machine so she can keep sewing.

We are winding down tonight.  We have packed most of our belongings and will finish in the morning.  Our plans tomorrow include going to the center to say goodbye to staff and make sure we eat a solid meal before we leave for the airport.

I'm uncetain if I will have access to wi-fi while we are in Germany.  I will try to post another blog entry, otherwise I will definitely do so upon returning home.

Until next time...

Finally On The Mend--A Day Taking In The Sights!

It has been a full week (plus) since Rebekah and I began feeling ill.  It was a long recovery but we think we are turning a corner and finally feeling well enough to do something!  We are grateful for our continued recovery.  Life felt a lot like the old Bill Murray movie, "Groundhog Day!"  Each day we woke up (much later than we are accustomed), slowly put some sort of breakfast together in our room, and take a short walk just to get outdoors.  We'd come back "home" and rest for a few hours.  Then we'd muster up a bit of energy to go out for dinner, back to the hotel, and back to bed.  That's basically how the past week has gone!

As I reflect on our week, I turn my "prism" (referring to my last post) and see a raninbow of   thankfulness!  Ann VosKamp, one of my favortie authors, focuses on being thankful for the smallest things in our life.
1.  I had the finances to get the medicine we needed.
2.  We were sick living in a hotel where we were comfortable, not out on the street on the hard
     sidewalk with people tripping on us, breathing in the thick pollution, and car horns blaring!
3.  We had food to eat.
4.  We had hot water to clean up.
5.  We had hotel staff who were concerned about us and checked in with us (daily) to make sure
     we were okay.
6.  We had access to the internet to skype Randy and feel a bit more connected to home.
7.  Rebekah and I had each other to get through the week (we weren't alone).
8.  Youtube was a gift--I started remembering good, family shows from my youth and Rebekah and  I
      watched them to pass our time.
9.  We have an electric kettle in our room and made tea with honey to soothe our throats.
10.  We have a mini fridge with a tiny freezer:  our food stays cold and we treated ourselves to
       icecream.
11.  We have air conditioning in our hotel room and could cool off on the warmer days--many people
        around us do not have that luxury.
12.  Both of us have a much deeper appreciation for HOME!!!

Yesterday, we began getting out a bit.  We decided to face New Market, again.  The environment challenges me on many levels.  I am an introvert who masks as an extrovert!  Many people assume I am extroverted because of my past work, my volunteerism, speaking to groups, hosting larger gatherings/events--but I am not "fueled" by being around a lot of people.  I need a lot of space, smaller groups (or one to one), and quiet.  So, India has stretched my comfort zone (tremendously)!

New Market is the place to go for local products, souvenirs, etc.--but, there are so many people that I feel constantly on guard!  As I mentioned about previous trips, there are also people who follow you around pushing you to go to "their" stores so they can make a commission.  There were just a few final items on our list that we wanted to purchase, so we hopped in an auto and ventured out to shop.  Upon arrival, we quickly found a store for one of those items.  The owner quoted me a price that was equivalent to what I would pay in Canada.  And the negotiating began!  I didn't budge but offered to buy two at the price I wanted and he finally agreed.  Then the "commission" based posse was on full alert when we finished at that shop but I told them that we did not need their assistance and wanted to be left alone.  I saw what I thought was an exit and told Rebekah we needed to go out for a minute.  Much to our surprise, we immediately saw racks of the famous "Alibaba" pants (which were on our list) and they had price tags.  We were thrilled!  Fixed rates is a new concept here and this shop fell under that category.

A young man smiled at us and told us to look at whatever we wanted, to take our time.   He patiently showed us much of his inventory.  His english was quite strong and we had an engaging conversation.  He told me how he doesn't agree with all the old men who follow people around, especially foreigners.  He said he didn't like commission work.  He said that too many Indians think all foreigners are made of money.  He sees how tired and frustrated the foreigners get.  He'd rather get a smaller profit and have his customers happy and return to his shop.  He hoped that the younger generation  would adopt a new way of thinking and a new way of doing business.   It may sound peculiar, but that shop (and the owner) was incredibly peaceful.  It felt so different from being in the main market and feeling like my defences had to be up all the time.  It turned out he had most of the remaining items on our list.  He took great pride in his store and in his work.  We were thrilled to support him as a local merchant.  He asked me what else I needed to shop for.  I told him the only items left were tea and spices.  So, he asked the man at the shop across from him to watch his for few minutes.  He told me that he would find a shop that would not "cheat" us.  We followed the young man and a couple minutes later he found a shop, talked to the owner at length, and then turned and assured me that I would get fair prices and good quality products.  He thanked me for our business and went on his way.  Our expereince in the spice shop was equally as peaceful.  It felt like we travelled to the past in a time machine.  The colorful, aromatic spices filled large glass jars all across the shop.  When the gentleman weighed the spices I chose, he used a scale with an actual little weight on one side to ensure that the perfect amount of spices were portioned out on the other side.  There are no cash registers or computers in these market stores.  All bills are handwritten.  Most shop owners take out a calculator to double check that their figures are correct (I have not yet seen a mathematical error at a shop before they double checked their work on a calculator--there is much to be desired about the education system in India; however, they are very strong in math and science!).  The owner was pleased to allow Rebekah to take as many pictures as she wanted around his shop (I explained some of them are for a school project) and he seemed very excited to hear his spices were to be shared in Canada.
Our journey to New Market proved successful (accomplishing the purchases we set out for) and relatively painless!  I was so grateful!!!

Today was an impressive time taking in some of the sights around Kolkata!  Rachel picked us up at our hotel and we started our day at Kaligat Temple (one of the main Hindu temples in the city located along the Hoogley River). This is located in a different part of the city than we stay or have visited before.  Today was some kind of special Hindu day.  When we arrived, we walked down a street overflowing with vendors.  At first glance it looked like another typical, small market area we've seen around the city.  However, Rachel explained that these vendors sold numerous items to offer for worshipping the goddess, Kali (the goddess associated with death although it is believed that her earliest incarnation was to annihilate evil spirits).  The items for worship ranged from flowers, bright paint-like powders, jewelry, small wafers or cookies, and much more.

Upon entering the temple courtyard, hundreds if not thousands of people lined up to worship or offer their sacrifices to the goddess.  This was an incredibly intense environment being so contrary to our beliefs.  Yet, we were fascinated with the devotion of masses.  Shortly after we entered the courtyard, a "tour guide" offered his services to us.  Rachel thought this was a good way to get around.  It was intriguing to go from place to place and hear the Hindu man's explanations.  One of our first stops was to look at a very old tree.  The tree was protected by a room of sorts and bars so people couldn't get inside.  It was considered a holy tree and the story is that is over 300 years old.  People come to this tree, write down a wish and tie it to the tree.  When their wish is fulfilled, they return to the tree and can choose any wish on the tree to take with them.

Next, our guide to us to where the animals are sacrificed.  Rachel thought the sacrifices were finished for the day (that is a morning ritual).  Enroute to the sacrificial ground, I was haunted by the blood that trailed across the marble floors and along the walls.  Once we got to our destination, we quickly realized the sacrifices were still being made.  Our stay was short, for none of us in our little group desired to see the act (it seemed so foreign to be asked if we'd like to watch the sacrifice of the goats and it seemed to startle our guide when we declined).

Our next destination was to see the goddess Kali.  As "visitors," we were allowed to circumvent the hundreds waiting in line.  We followed our guide into the temple (oh, I neglected to mention that by that point, we had to be barefoot out of respect.  This was incredibly disconcerting for the "sainitary police" that reside in mind but reminded me of the scripture about Moses being barefoot at the burning bush for it was holy ground--that brought me some peace).  Our guide offered us flowers to offer to the goddess to be blessed and to honor our families.  Rachel spoke in Bengali to him and explained as Christians we do not offer worship or sacrifices to other gods.  He tried again, shaking his head at our resolve.  Then he tried to offer Rebekah flowers (thinking I didn't see this) but Rebekah kindly refused.  We found it very cramped inside the temple.  Once we got to where the idol of Kali was located, people in line were fighting, the "guards" were fighting and pushing people back, and the Hindus quickly threw their sacrifices to the image.  It felt incredibly intense and anticlimatic.

Our next stop was at the pool where cermenoial bathing takes place.  However, there was no one there this afternoon.  It is also where Kali's husband, Lord Shiva (known as the supreme god, the destroyer, and the transformer, resides.  According to our guide, Lord Shiva supposedly offers "safety"  which is contrary to Kali.  Our guide also pointed out that many of the goats that are sacrificed are donated and then the meat feeds about 1000 poor people a day.  That's when they asked for a donation for that purpose.  Not knowing if this was truth, we gave a nominal donation.  That brought our tour to a close.  Our guide brought us back to retrieve our shoes and asked for a donation for his services.

Before leaving this part of the city, we stopped for coconut water.  The man took a large, arched knife (it resembled a small version of a mashedee--ugh, I have no clue how to spell that), chopped off the top and placed a straw in the center of it to drink.  I have acquired a taste for coconut water over the years, Rebkeah doesn't care for it but tried it again.  Meanwhile, a little girl talked to Rachel and asked for pictures with the coconuts.  She was adorable.  Rachel bought a coconut, drank the water, and gave the "flesh" to the little girl.  She was thrilled!  Next, Rebekah and I got our first ride on a bicycle rickshaw.  I have felt too guilty to accept a ride pulled by old man on foot.  It was a fun, short ride.  Rebekah could see how it would be a great way to get around.  The rickshaw is shaded by it's canopy and the drivers are strong and quick.

We decided to stop for a quick lunch at that point (as quick as things get in India).  Even this experience brought enlightenment.  Here, I turn my "prism"again.  Rachel has lived in India over 12 years working with the NGO, serving primarily the street children of Kolkata.  She returns home every year for a couple months to raise awarness and funds.  Her daily life does not allow for discovering the newest "western" eateries or shops. She eats, drinks, works, breathes, and lives India. The past month she's had eight USA and Canadian short term volunteers visit (including us).  She's had an opportunity to look up and around and is seeing many changes in her Kolkata.  She says there is a whole new world here just in more options for western food at restaurants:  Chilis, Spaghetti Kitchen, and our lunch at Au Bon Pain (a soup, sandwich, pastry shop).  Through all of our culture shock immersing ourselves as much as possible in our surroundings (during our short stay), she has experienced her own "culture shock" with all the changes that are happening around her.

After lunch we drove by the Victoria Memorial Gardens (we couldn't see much from the van, but what I could see was breathtaking...the wide, open space, the greenery, and the british architecture).  We will definitely take in that sight before we leave.  We went on to a river (that comes from the Ganges River) to take a small ferry.  Rachel assumed we would be the main attraction on the ferry, as the token foreigners.  However, a small camera crew and reporter borded and started taping.  I couldn't hear very much, but it sounded like the Austrailian reporter was talking about how drugs were brought into Kolkata via this river.  It was fascinating to watch the process, and to watch the locals intrigued by the crew.

Once we crossed the river, Rachel took us to the train station.  It is huge! There were numerous, large signs evidently with destiantions and times, food vendors with neon signs, and a sea of people.  We learned another new word, "cooley."  A cooley is a man who carries your luggage on his head to your train platform.  Rachel says there must be well over 20 platforms.  We walked along some of the platforms and Rachel explained the ins and outs of traveling by rail.  There are local and long distance trains.  The long distance trains offer several classes to choose from.  In mid to high class, the cars are air conditioned and there are "beds" that fold down in the evening.  However, one must be very careful to have all of their belongings very close by so no one runs off with them.  It used to be the most economical way to travel long distances, but in recent years, airfares have become much more reasonably priced so that has become the transportation of choice.

Many runaway teens live at the train station.  However, in the past there were many reports of beatings as the officials tried to keep them out.  Now the teens congregrate a ways down from the main part of the station in a "jungle type" area (trees, plants, greenery).  I cannot imagine why they choose to live there when there is so much strife.  Usually there are many teens actually in the station during the day, maybe getting food, or begging. There didn't appear to be many today.  However, we did see one teen boy laying down on the ground by the tracks.  He had a cloth he kept putting to his mouth and nose...sniffing glue is one of them many addictions that is common here.  It was very evident that the young man was "high as a kite" and my heart broke for all those oppressed by addictions.

We trekked back to purchase tickets for our return ferry (by the way the tickets were 5 rupees each, so it cost 24 cents for three of us travel each way).  During the ferry ride, you can see the famous Howrah Bridge.  It is very large and numerous vehicles travel on it (all day long).  The river is the division between the two cities: Kolkata and Howrah.  Rachel pointed out the new bridge (in the distance), there were far fewer vehicles, and she thinks that's due to it is a toll bridge.  After our return trip on the ferry, we had a short drive back to our hotel.

We rested for a few minutes in our room and headed out to dinner (by foot).  There is a restaurant we went to the first week we were here, but couldn't remember how to get there again.  We asked Rachel for directions today and were certain we could finally get back there.  Well, third time was not a charm.  Somehow (and I'm still shaking my head at this) we did not find the restaurant, walked much further than we knew we should've, and ended up at a standby on Park Street.  We got our exercise tonight.  A walk that should've been less than a mile ended up in at least four miles by the time everything was said and done.  Oh well!

Tomorrow we will visit the girls at the home for a little while.  We want to make sure to feel like we have some closure with these children we've connected with.  We have some small gifts to give the children (bright, colored bangle braceletts for the girls and mini machines (dump truck, excavator, etc. for the three year old boys and a gift for our sponsor child).  Monday there is a team of four from the states visiting all of Tabaitha's Heart locations.  So, we will "tag along" and answer any questions they might have for us as short term volunteers. We will see the newest locatoin, Topsia, we have not yet seen.  We will go back to the girls' home but I didn't feel comfortable bringing closure to our time with a new team of visitors, hence our intentional visit planned for tomorrow.

It has been a long, educational, and fascinating day!  I am so grateful that we had the health and energy to enjoy all we took in.  It is getting late, though, and it's time to quiet my thoughts and try to get a good sleep.

Until next time...