"A suffering of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering." "The intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another." "A person who maintains or restores peace and amity; mediator" (all sited in Webster's dictionary). Indeed compassion, empathy, and peacekeeping skills are highly overrated in today's society. I cannot imagine a world where people who practiced these qualities became the majority. What a tragedy! (Ok, please forgive the satirical tone...)
These are words that people (both known to us and strangers) have used to describe our family and in particular, Rebekah (our 13 year old). Throughout the years we have evolved into a relatively unconventional family. We had strong "academic" reasons which were our catalyst to our home-schooling journey. However, over time, our approach to education has become the very essence of how we live. Daily living and pursuing passions are the foundation of our pedagogy. Of course we go through seasons of well meaning individuals barraging us with comments such as: "You don't follow a set curriculum. Aren't you worried your daughter will fall behind?" "What do you mean you don't take tests?" "What about benchmarks?" "Well, home-schoolers lack socialization." "When do you do schoolwork? Oh, you don't have set hours." And the list goes on and on...
I can understand how outsiders may perceive that we don't do anything. Rebekah does not sit at a desk for hours on end five days a week. She doesn't cram for tests to retain the knowledge only for as long as she needs it to pass the exam. She doesn't spend countless hours on homework. And somedays we stay in our pajamas all day!
This past year we served for five weeks in Kolkata, India. The experiences of living with the people there was life changing for all of us. This year, Rebekah exhibited a strong desire to start Doula training. So, this mother/daughter duo starts training this month. We desire to serve in Africa (not sure where yet) so we are immersing ourselves in reading about the cultures, tribes, history, and even starting Swahili lessons online. Rebekah continues to be passionate about her horses and is an active member in 4-H. She often mentors others in horsemanship. We "co-educate" with several other homeschooling families and have found this to be an enriching part of our journey.
It used to bother Rebekah when we'd be in public and people made the assumption that she was missing school for some reason. Now she just giggles under her breath.
I must confess that this entry was inspired by a comment I read on social media a few weeks ago. It took me a while to "simmer down" and propose some thoughts from a calm place. I thrived in traditional education: elementary, high school, and university. However, I am hard pressed now to recall many of the facts I learned once upon a time. My most valuable learning has come from everyday life, hands on learning, and trial and error. By no means is my intention to minimize the many benefits from traditional schooling. However, we have been the target of many judgments because of our countercultural approach to education; so I'm inviting others to look at school in a different perspective.
Our daughter is a confident young woman who has an incredibly large heart. She sees people through a filter of beauty and compassion that touches so many around her. Her faith is strong and deep. She is not afraid to stand up for others (or herself). She has an unwavering work ethic and often volunteers her time. Somehow if we've missed some details in her education, I think she will be able to compensate for them at the time she needs them.
Life is short and I just wonder if we put unnecessary pressure on our children (and ourselves) because we've deemed a list of "to-dos and checkmarks" to lead to a destination as more valuable than the journey itself. Just a few thoughts that I've been entertaining the past few weeks...
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