I have been remiss in updating our blog since we returned home about six weeks ago. The first week or more was spent being gentle with ourselves, staying home as much as possible, and readjusting to the time difference and extreme climate/culture change!
The past few weeks, Rebekah and I have "jumped" back into our rhythm of life and all the activities that ensue. Randy is very glad to have us home!
I have been busy with completing assignments for my directed study on our trip to Kolkata. For the sake of time and to "catch" you up, I am copying one of my assignments.
Until next time...
The past few weeks, Rebekah and I have "jumped" back into our rhythm of life and all the activities that ensue. Randy is very glad to have us home!
I have been busy with completing assignments for my directed study on our trip to Kolkata. For the sake of time and to "catch" you up, I am copying one of my assignments.
Until next time...
STOPS !!!
(Surprises That Occupy Personal
Silence)
As I reflect on how to
“finish” assignments for my directed study centered on my recent trip to
Kolkata, I think of a comment I made to a friend a couple days ago (a young
woman whom I also have the honor of mentoring), “Self Design is absolutely
lovely yet the very nature of a directed study course, which I created, begs
the question of if I will ever feel like I have “arrived” in my processing and
I am challenged to know when I am
truly “finished” with my projects/assignments.”
I think this question needs to stay central in my
thoughts as I attempt to complete my course over the next couple of weeks. On one level (intellectual) I acknowledged
that I would be “processing” and learning from this trip for the rest of my
life. Now that I’ve been home for just
over a month, I have internalized this profound reality into the depths of my
being…
Therefore, I will submit some
“Stops” I have experienced since my return home:
*The very acronym that
developed out of the concept of the stop formed
just an hour ago as I was lying in bed reflecting on life and thinking about
how to proceed with my assignments. In
the dark stillness (this was about 5 a.m.), the words Surprises
That Occupy Personal Silence crashed like waves against the shoreline of
my thoughts. Yes, I experienced numerous
stops while in India (which were
addressed in my blog) and since my return home, I have heightened sensitivity
to those stops.
*ICE WATER: The other evening I realized how incredibly
thirsty I was and that it took several glasses of ice water to quench my
thirst. In those moments, I was so
thankful for the limitless amount of ice water I have available to me in my
home (not many weeks ago, “chilled” water—let alone ice water, was a treat). In addition to the literal, physical ability
to drink the water to eventually quench my thirst; my thoughts turned to the
challenge of truly quenching my thirst of processing our trip and continually
opening myself to more learning.
*Rebekah’s “Craving”: For the first week or so Rebekah stated that
she “craved” to paint (beautiful, abstract pieces). As she painted and put words to this need
(crave), I stepped back and observed her.
I noticed her tenderness in choices of color. Usually she likes to have music on while she
creates her art but those first paintings were done in silence. I reflected on how
loud Kolkata had been and the need the three of us have had for silence which equates to peace in our world.
*Siloam Mission: A couple of weeks ago I took Rebekah on a
field trip to a local outreach for the area’s impoverished. I had volunteered at the mission a few years
ago. However, at that time Rebekah was
too young to come along so she’d never seen the mission (but very aware of the
various outreaches in the community). As
we entered the “shelter” area (I think approximately 65 beds), emotions
overcame me. In fact, I had to fight
back “wailing” as tears streamed down my face.
I whispered to Rebekah, “Look how large this space is, how clean it is,
how dignified it is—remember the conditions of the hospital we saw in Kolkata?”
and I shook my head in disbelief wishing I could wave a magic wand and
transport the beautiful facility overseas.
*Tim Horton’s “Roll up the
rim to win” and Sunday mornings at Starbucks:
How quickly I’ve returned to my weekly “habits” living in Canada. As we are settling back into the rhythm of
life, I often stop at Tim’s for my steeped tea and make sure to leave early
enough for church each Sunday so I can indulge in my extra hot chai latte. Sometimes I catch myself questioning these
pleasures. The other week I planned to
meet Sandy for a bit during three65 and texted her to see if she wanted me to
bring her something from Tim’s. She was
most thankful for a hot beverage on a bitter cold day. That visit was the first one we had in person
since I returned. I mentioned feeling
“guilty” as I’ve returned to some of my habits and she responded with, “Deb I
know how it is to immerse back into my home culture after traveling for
extended periods of time (not from third world cultures, though) and yes, it is
a challenge in balancing what we have seen and experienced while acknowledging
and embracing the culture in which we live.”
Those are good words to “chew” on!
*Buying out IKEA: On that note of consumerism and a comparison
to Rebekah’s “craving” to paint, I had an insatiable “craving” to add color to
my home. This evolution of color began
the past couple of years since we started Self Designing (color, you may ask? That’s a whole story in itself. Long story short—I think my past imprisoned
me and I didn’t allow myself to enjoy and display much color within my home or
my wardrobe, etc…). Anyway, I had been
thinking about replacing my dishes after our trip. I had set aside some birthday and Christmas
money from the past year and decided to head out to IKEA a couple of weeks
ago. I enjoy finding “bargains” and
that’s the extent of my pleasure in shopping (usually). However this trip was
something I “craved” and found myself desiring to spend alone time (I hadn’t
since we returned home). Normally my
alone time wouldn’t be spent in a large store with people surrounding me. Yet, I was a woman with a mission. I wanted more color in my life! This is where the stop enters…between the journey toward more color the past couple
of years and the immersion into a stunningly COLORFUL CULTURE (India), I was
inspired (with a sense of urgency) to seize the moment and shop! I thoroughly enjoyed the alone time,
wandering up and down the aisles in IKEA.
I found the dishes I’d had my eye on and so much more. The colorful wall hangings haven’t yet made
it up on our walls, but my cupboards are filled with light green and burnt
orange dishes. Our bathroom on the main
floor dons a colorful, printed shower curtain with lime green and turquoise
hand towels as accents. I am giddy as
more and more color is added to my life!
I also feel good about donating my old dishes to a family I just learned
of who is in need of “furnishing” their home.
*Expressing myself: I know that I had hoped to do some “artsy”
expressions as some of my assignments. I
had been challenged and inspired during my course in residency last August to
try expressing myself in a variety of methods.
However, I do have a love of language and writing…so for the sake of
time and by default, words pour out onto the pages. I have purchased an “Introduction to
watercolors” kit and look forward to taking the time to express myself through
a different medium. Maybe something will
transpire before my course deadline…
*”The grass is greener on the
other side”: I was just over at my dear
friend’s house the other day. Lisa was
frantically making supper, cupcakes for an ensuing party, and apologized for
her messy house explaining “cleaning day” was the next day. I laughed and told her no apology was
necessary stating that my house was in need of a good cleaning and tidying up,
too. Her eight-year-old son, Jack, said,
“your house is so big I wouldn’t think it ever needs to be cleaned!” (Their
house is much smaller). I, in turn, commented,
“That’s the problem Jack—it’s so big that the messes just seem to spill over to
every room.” Lisa piped up, “The grass
is always greener on the other side, huh?
I always think that if I had a larger house, I would have a place for
everything.” Again, the past couple of
years I have been “purging stuff.” This
stems back to how my mom became a hoarder over the years (yes, a person who
could’ve been on the show Hoarders—Buried Alive). I have questioned my abundance of “stuff” and
been working on minimalizing for many reasons.
Enter the stop; this need to
continue this evolutionary process was magnified while in India (and since
returning home). I often caught my
thoughts drifting to the “abundance” that the majority of North Americans have
in their lives and in their homes as I observed the homes in the slums, the
condition of the clothes, the cooking on the streets, the people sleeping on
sidewalks and more…
*Clean eating, Paleo diet, juicing
and more: Before leaving for our trip, I
acknowledged our diet would be drastically altered while in India. I looked forward to authentic Indian cuisine,
knowing that my love for spicy food would be challenged with the intensity of
their spice! I also was grateful that
our gluten free diet at home was due to “intolerances” versus actual allergies
because being gluten free in Kolkata would be next to impossible. Little did I know that we would eat very
little Indian food (because our bodies just couldn’t handle the intensity of
spice and different foods used) and search for “continental cuisine” as our
sustenance. We were extremely cautious
and did not eat “street food.” Had we
planned to be in India longer, we would’ve eaten the street food and allowed
our bodies to “adjust” to the native customs.
Because our stay was relatively short, we didn’t want to be burdened
with the possibility of extended sickness due to food. Consuming gluten and other foods (processed)
our bodies had not been accustomed to proved to be challenging enough! Since being home, we are now getting back
into the rhythm of our cooking and diet.
STOP: I catch myself smiling and experiencing
joy well up inside of me as I look through my cookbooks and plan and prepare
meals. I pause and am so thankful for being
in tune with my body and what it needs for nourishment (and the gift it is to
provide such a healthy diet for my family).
I am grateful for the financial means to purchase the whole foods. I think about the water I use to wash my
produce (not giving a second thought to using tap water—unlike our experience
in India). The scenes of Kolkata play
over and over in my mind’s eye and my heart lingers there as I live here.
*Grateful for our Manitoba
winter: I usually have to guard myself
from falling into a cesspool of negativity regarding our harsh winters. Minus 40 to 50 temperatures get to all of us
residing in Manitoba. However, this year
I have a new appreciation for our winter.
Even though the winters can be very long and extremely cold, I am
thankful for our clean air!! Yes, I am
grateful that I had a six -week break from our winter (and it was extremely
warmer); yet, the pollution in Kolkata is worse than I’ve ever experienced in
my life (remember I commuted to Los Angeles five days a week about ten years
ago…)! I have asthma and only have to
use my inhaler during field burning seasons and sometimes on very cold days
during the winter. While I was in
Kolkata, I used my inhaler several times a day.
I think about how the pollution must affect everyone’s health there and I
can be grateful for the long winter here.
I am certain there are many
more stops that I have already
experienced since returning home and that there will be many more! I intend to keep a journal to either write or
draw my “pauses” so I can look back at them as time spans between India and
Manitoba. These exercises are rich and
are profoundly impacting my immersion into my home culture and I am grateful.
